As some of you might know, I recently got married on the fifth of this month. After a whirlwind wedding weekend followed by just over a week in San Francisco, we were back to work for a couple of weeks before I had my wisdom teeth out yesterday. So, since I’m bored (and not in pain right now), I thought I would write a post about something I’m trying to practice myself – praying together as a couple.
What’s the point of praying together?
Any prayer serves a major purpose of bringing you closer to God, but praying as a couple can also bring you closer to each other. Knowing each others’ most intimate wants and desires, and what you want to pray for in your marriage, can lead to your marriage being strengthened overall.
In my opinion, this is a little easier said than done. It was really hard to get up the courage to pray for the first time together, and even now we have only done it a handful of times. I think this is something I’d like to practice again when I am not feeling so poorly because of my teeth. For now, I’m basically falling asleep constantly and I don’t think it would be a productive use of prayer.
What is the easiest way to pray together?
Our amazing Pastor told us that we should try praying words of Scripture together – like the Psalms especially since they are each a prayer in their own right. We have also been working on doing a Bible study of the book of John, which is helping us to grow in our faith and love Jesus more as we learn about His story. We can pray after our readings about what we have learned, and something we do in our small group at church is the Discovery Bible Study method (here’s a helpful PDF), which I have found to be really helpful to go through a paragraph or two at a time and figure out what God is trying to say to us there.
How can you pray about specific concerns?
We have a beautiful prayer board I got from Etsy (this one) which hangs on the wall in our living room. It has mostly long term prayers, like our friends who struggle with infertility, a pet with some health concerns, and my own struggles with mental illness. I like to update this whenever a new major concern comes up so that we can know what we should overall be praying for.
When praying aloud as a couple, this is usually what we start with. It’s easy to read right off the board and say ‘Lord, I need your guidance and help in these areas of our lives’ and read them out. It’s a good way to start off, especially as you can alternate between each other while reading them. However, that doesn’t cover all the concerns.
One way to pray about more specific concerns is to simply talk them out like a conversation – what do we need God to be doing in our lives? For example, if you aren’t feeling well, you can say “I think I need God to help me with my health right now,” and talk about that for a moment. It’s more of a conversation than, in my opinion, a normal prayer would be. However, I do have friends who consider all prayer to be a conversation between you and God, so it’s really up to how you see it.
Do you guys pray together? What would you find most helpful to pray together about? Do you pray together every time you pray or only sometimes?